I’ve been having a LOT of discussions with people about childhood sexual abuse, whether it’s the aftermath, the severity, how wide spread, the differences of pedophilia vs. child molestation, the human trafficking aspect, and trying to bring about the awareness of it all... Except that it seems as if people are more likely to expect that I stop at that... I do not. As the founder of Youth Voice Initiative, I am trying to take action to ensure that those who perpetrate our children have stiffer sentencing. Please have a look on the website: https://sites.google.com/site/youth...
As you can see in the picture above, the reported cases to authorities are not all of the events that happen, and it’s bad enough that the attitude is, “anyone can cry rape”. With this attitude, who wants to speak up, especially in a false case? This is the reason why so many cases are not reported to begin with. It’s unfortunate, and less than 30% of the reported cases lead to an arrest. This doesn’t mean that this amount is actually convicted, and even if they are, many don’t spend a day in prison.
This article, which was posted by another child advocate, is what prompted me to do this blog. Mind you, this is not about the profession of the perpetrator. Pedophiles and child porn users come in all forms. They are not the freaky weirdos that we stereotype. Here is that article, about how a user of child porn died in prison: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news...
Other comments I get are along the line of, “children are resilient” or “as an adult, it’s time to put it in the past” or “you should know better than to act out because you were there, once”. Okay, BAD BAD BAD! Here is my experience, research, study, and presentation...
1) Yes, children are resilient. But, when children are subjugated to forced sexual encounters, the healthy boundaries that separate “normal” and “abnormal” boundaries are non existent. Some children won’t realize that this is wrong, because if a parent, grandparent or other close relative is the abuser, they may not realize that the sexualized relationship is actually wrong. Even if the child feels as if it is wrong, they don’t question the parent who is perpetrating until the feeling bubbles over and the child reveals to another trusted person.
What happens with this is, that instead of having a normal childhood like playing with dolls or GI Joe, or enjoying story time with an older relative, or learning how to ride bikes, etc... the child is trying to figure out what they did wrong to get this from the perpetrator. When a childhood is screwed this way, there is no basis of normal development that can lead to being an adult with a fully functional adult. So many things are out of place, from what is appropriate or not in conversations, what boundaries are supposed to be, and it most definitely affects friendships, intimate and/or romantic relationships, and if these are even feasible or not. Even so, the romanticism from a survivor of sex abuse or domestic violence is probably very different from those who have not been abused this bad.
2) Sex abuse and other types of violence is not something you just “put in the past”. Sex abuse and physical abuse are just as violent as each other. But, sex abuse perpetrates so deep into the soul, it is more like physical violence along with psychological warfare being perpetrated against the victim. Think about our military personnel who are or have been on the front lines, and they saw their fellow team members get blown up, die slowly, and they’ve also become disabled themselves, or in other circumstances, to save the rest of the troop, they retreated, leaving the one soldier behind, possibly to die or become a POW to save the masses. Many of these people hope to be rescued, or that the relief troops will come. Would you tell them that they are home, and to put the PTSD behind them? No?
Okay, now think... These are trained military people. And we want to help them. Now, the children... They have no training. There is no hope to go home. Home IS the front line, the war zone, and there is no relief troop. There is no rescue. There is no way out. And you want people to “just put it in the past”? Be an adult? Does it sound like this can just happen? So, if your car gets stolen, are you going to just put it in the past, and not say anything? Okay, so we are getting somewhere.
3) So, yes. As survivors of abuse, we have been there. But, as a person who has not been a survivor, you do not have the right to bully us into anything... As people who have gone through such trauma, it has to come out somewhere, and no, we don’t talk about it to get attention or sympathy. Until there is some sort of closure, to which there will be no back to normal, because normal is now something different, and survivors must now define a new way to what normalcy is. Again, until others can understand what it’s like to be a victim of sexual abuse, it is not up to you to judge. To close yourself out is to willingly stay ignorant of the facts. Do not be accusing toward those who may snap at the bullying behavior. Survivors have the right to be able to express themselves, and it is not up to others to say that they should know better. Since others don’t know better, it is up to them not to be judgmental. Thank you.
Child pornography and pedophile rings are a multibillion dollar industry, to where nothing can be changed to eliminate this. To try to correlate human trafficking with legalizing anything else is not a related thing. In many ways, it’s not even really related to prostitution, whether it is legal or not. But, even still, while there is human trafficking overlaps with pedophilia, and human trafficking overlaps with prostitution rings, the child sex trafficking along with child porn and pedophile rings are much bigger than many of these other issues. It’s not a one size fits all sex industry. Just like legalizing alcohol consumption does not stop underage drinking, because we still lose our young people to alcohol related issues, whether it’s poisoning or accidental homicide; child sex trafficking is a much bigger problem with sex abuse than underage drinking is to alcoholism.
Here is a link from NBC, about a bust on a pedophile ring. They say it is an estimate number, because often, there is so much underground, that there are many “layers” to uncover before getting to those who are in control of these pedophile rings. Here: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/42108748/...
We have known for several years that both Corey Feldman and Corey Haim were victims of childhood sex abuse in Hollywood, which eventually led to the death of Corey Haim. But, do you know that Elijah Wood was also a victim, also? The news is huge. It is rampant, and we have yet to have names revealed on how bad the pedophile ring runs in our own entertainment industry. To ignore the magnitude is just irresponsible, because by ignoring it, you are condoning it. There is a quote by Edmund Burke that applies here: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. I couldn’t agree more. This is why I support Corey Feldman’s new gig, where he is using music to bring more awareness of the long term effects of childhood sex abuse. Here is the article about Feldman and Wood: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/ne...
The very fact that people seem to ignore this, because “sex sells” is also what is a huge contributor to rape culture, which includes normalizing pedophilia, accepting human trafficking for child porn industries, and is making it more difficult to combat, because the problem is so minimized. Below, I will post more links to what I consider as reputable as news. Because of the variety, I’m sure there is one you will accept as more true than not.
Child porn can come about in many ways. Some photographers will be so welcoming that those who bring their children in will be asked to stay in the waiting room, while the children get taken back into the studio. There will be clean versions that will be given to the parents, and a set of nudes or sexually provocative ones which will be kept private. Because of the type of business, the clean ones are used as advertisements, and the other is not acceptable unless you pass through say, 5 layers before even being able to think about seeing the bad ones. There will be one layer of those who may want to see lingerie shots of those on the cusp of adulthood. Then in private conversation, there may be ones that is more than just modeling of lingerie. Many of them will claim these are 18 year olds. Many may not be, yet. Or, they were 17 when the pictures were taken, and 18 by the time they were published. It just gets deeper and deeper.
The human trafficking of children for sex purposes run deep, and often times, stalk families of those who are in 3rd world countries where their children are at risk to die from malnutrition. The family is promised that their children will be well taken care of by American couples who are unable to bear children, and how the families are well to do, and so the parents sell their children, often to not hear back from these children. It’s bad. This not an issue that will be affected just by the simple legalization of prostitution of adults. It is called “kiddie porn” for a reason. These rings don’t care. They will get money for what they get, which there is a huge market for child porn. This is the same thing as child sex abuse. There are families where the adults sold their children for sexual purposes to pay off debts. I know of 3 of them personally. One has died from cervical cancer from the decades of sex abuse she had been put through. It’s not some small cracker jack industry.
I encourage everyone to share this blog with anybody and everybody, because it’s going to take our collective voices to make that change happen. If you don’t know, or don’t want to get involved, you are a part of the problem. Remember, sex abuse, pedophilia, and domestic violence can happen to our boys and men, too, and are not limited to “gay” people, and it is all very wrong. So, think about that while reading about these statistics and articles. Here are your links:
