As many of you may (or may not know), I used to volunteer at the Hospitality Center, where they serve Racine’s neediest people. I no longer recommend giving them support. My reasoning follows below, and the justifications are rather serious. Here are other places for your consideration:
- the Women’s Resource Center – for domestic violence & sexual assault survivors to be safe
- BeLeaf Survivors aka Sexual Assault Services for survivors of sexual assault, when people need support, advocate at the hospital, and other services
- Bethania Lutheran Church has Thread by Thread, a free clothing bank with seasonal items, including outerwear, children's books, sometimes even bedding & other things for the house.
- Healthcare Network for people who have no insurance & can’t afford to pay out-of-pocket
- Racine Literacy Council helps people learn a variety of things from HSD to passing driver’s tests and so much more – citizenship is one of them.
- Eco-Justice Center – a place where the ecosystem, people, peace, and community all come together.
- Join Rely Local to save money, support local economy, and get to know your neighbors.
- Willow Creek Ranch, a place where people can go for horsemanship and therapy for physical & other issues as well as education.
Do as you wish, please know that I’m not trying to take anyone down, just make things a bit safer for all. Kenosha organizations like the Shalom Center & Women’s Horizons are also good causes. Be safe, be happy & go with your conscience.
The Center offers so many necessities to those who have little to nothing, as well as to those who appreciate the little bit of extra. Many are homeless or near homeless, others just need a place to go, to supplement what they have. The services include but are not limited to:
- A hot breakfast M-F 7:30-8:30 am with a bottomless cup of coffee
- A well-balanced/nutritious dinner M-F from 11:30-12:30pm
- Seasonal clothing bank every Thursday 9:30-11:30am
- Various support groups that meet weekly (inquire within)
- Free haircuts once a month (1st Monday?)
- Laundry Love – pick up a voucher to be able to do 3 loads of laundry
- Several more, depending on who/what is available
Anyway, it’s not just those who are living on the street, there are people who have their own place and depend on the services, whether they’re retired, disabled, etc. and their income doesn’t cover enough. The mission is great, with the slogan Hospitality for All (regardless of race, faith, creed, origin, gender, orientation, etc). All great things, yet here is my concern, there.
The breakfast cook used to be a volunteer, mostly setting up & put things away (prepackaged, dealing with boxes, vacuum-sealed, cans, bags, etc) as well as making the coffee. What was surprising though, was most of the time, if he’d walked passed, he stunk. The later in the week, the more he did. I’d mentioned something about sanitary purposes, and because he’d been a regular & volunteer, they didn’t want to offend him. *sigh* ok, I realize nonprofits need a lot of help, but, it doesn’t make sense that someone who only bathes once a week is allowed to deal with anything remotely related to food.
This person also has a habit of getting really grouchy right away, and in as little as 10 seconds, someone wanting an answer to a question is all of a sudden threatened with a permanent ban (some of these guests have addiction issues, mental health issues, etc. and others are on a crunch to bring information back for their appointments) and his excuse is PTSD, supposedly for being in the military. he tries to use this to his advantage.
Anyway, in December of 2018, while I was sorting nonperishable food items in the pantry, he came in & assaulted me by pinning me against the can rack, had one hand going down, one going up. Tried to even kiss me but I was trying to hold him back, and his breath is more atrocious than his lack of bathing. Someone had started coming back so he stopped, and went directly to the beginning of the lunch line with his hand on the lunch trays without washing them first. When I was going to take it into the kitchen, he’d shuffled it back into the stack. It was either holding up the lunch line or letting people be served. I’d told the 2nd in command, who took me to who was the executive director. I think the Program Director/Guest Relations guy was frustrated that nothing came of it. In some ways, I felt as if I’d gotten blamed for “provoking” the guy, but then the Director came to the conclusion that I was probably the only female who was nice to him (the same as I’m nice to everyone). He was talked to, and the following week, came and gave me what appeared to be a sincere apology, and kept trying to step into my space, I kept backing up because again, body odor & terrible breath, as if he hadn’t brushed in weeks. I’d forgiven him for the sincerity of his apology and went and said something to the higher-ups again, that it’s unsanitary for him to be dealing with food items, people, etc., and if he’s not going to clean up, maybe find something like garbage and other things for him to do… Over the next several months, I had 4 client guests that I can name reveal that he’d been inappropriate with them, and about 3 others whose names I never gotten also say something about how he’s scary.
So, in 2019, as we were still moving into our house that we’d bought, he needed to stay the weekend, I’d said sure… he would leave for a few days, come back, go, etc. gradually spending more & more time, and because we were busy with things, by the time it occurred to us that it had been over a month, we were stuck, but he kept saying he’d be going back to his old living arrangement. In the meantime, here he had full access to the bathroom, and still… When it came to a standstill because we couldn’t do more, I’d started observing his habits, and this guy is really disgusting… playing with the toilet handle & not washing his hands, not having the sense to clean things properly, as if he is more like a barn animal than a human being, and even the meals he would put together was slop. My health was going downhill, and we blamed my autoimmune disorders (I have a few), but eventually we ended up evicting him. Judges don’t like to evict at the onset & during the winter, and then the 2020 shutdown happened (the moratorium didn’t lift until September 2021), and even though at the onset, we made him sign a lease, he didn’t pay a dime for the duration. Being broke, we waited until I started working earlier this year. It’s been surprising that since then, while I’m not “better” by healthy people’s standards, the marked improvement is significant. What he left behind was surprisingly filthy, including crumbs all over the floor, black mold in the closet, etc. During the moratorium, he even tried to make demands for certain actions that I won’t go into detail here, showing me that his apology really wasn’t sincere. He was offended at getting NO for an answer… Mind, he thought that I “liked” him because I looked at him & took me holding my breath as being turned on… No… and I don’t know how many times I told him that he needs to bathe, brush teeth, etc. even to the point of being rude that he’s gross…
The Center used to be a site participant for SER jobs, where people over 55 who have other barriers aside from age to get hired can work up to 3 years to set up longevity at a place of employment to eventually get their own regular job. About February of 2019, one of them ended up patting me on my backside while I was carrying something. By this time, there was a volunteer coordinator/program assistant hired, and I’d talked to her. She basically refused to do anything about it, because she “doesn’t deal with paid staff”… Never mind that I was a volunteer, and her solution was that I could go home if I felt unsafe or uncomfortable, and to talk to one of the two above her, who happened not to be there. Basically, she said that it’s a man’s world & nothing is going to stop it. Um, it’s the Hospitality Center, sexual assault should NOT be something to expect. Well, the guy I’d talked to before, was flabbergasted that another incident was being brought to him but asked if I was okay, and asked if I could please talk to the director in hopes of getting something done this time. No such luck…
*sidetrack* I’d had a short affair with someone else who worked there from about October-December of 2018, a black guy… we were both put “on contract” for being caught kissing, and had implied consent due to a brief relationship. Mind, the morning cook & the SER jobs guy are both white guys, and neither of them was put on contract, even though no permission was there at all… It makes me wonder why they’re so special & entitled.
In May of this year, when bringing donations to the center, I was bringing a donation as well as mail to the morning cook that had come to my house, and got the door slammed into my face… Mind, I didn’t have to bring him his mail… For doing a courtesy, this is what I get… I’ve been donating something there since the inception of the center, whether it was food, clothing, collecting items from neighbors & friends, etc. Now that the morning cook has cost me money & I’m in need of some of the services, I don’t feel that I’m welcome in that space, because of his attitude (the services I need are those when he’s there). One of the other people who had gotten hired told me that he’d started working there before her, and she’d been there a while. Surprise.
Anyway, in court, we were told he was promoted to kitchen manager. I’d written a letter to the new executive director from my husband & I regarding verification of employment & how much he made, and inquired if it was possible to garnish his checks, since the courts would demand 20% and he’s under the income limit to afford that much, so I’d asked for a lower amount. In the meantime, I’d emailed the director & a couple of the board members about his lack of personal hygiene, sexually aggressive behaviors, rudeness, inhospitable attitude, etc. I get a letter back from the director stating that they contacted a lawyer, find “this topic” to be dealt with and done, and to cease contacting the agency, staff & volunteers again regarding this issue, because it’s a personal issue, not a legal or professional one. Okay, so… for the financial part, personal, yes. The kitchen manager’s mailing address is the center due to his homelessness. I won’t contact them there, but I will post publicly here. How is a person who doesn’t do basic personal hygiene making breakfast not a professional issue on their part? Restaurants have been shutdown due to this issue. Sexual assault IS a HUGE issue. So, what, someone who is filthy & aggressive is rewarded with a paycheck? Not cool… I don’t care how reliable he is, the people who rely on their services could be getting sick, possibly dying due to his unclean habits, and if they end up in the hospital, homelessness and/or age probably gets blamed for it, even though it’s from his food…
I’m torn, because so many rely on services… they don’t have a choice, it’s either risk getting assaulted or starving/freezing. I believe in the cause, but not getting assaulted by someone who is potentially making other people sick via food or him encroaching on personal space and touching & breathing on people. He’s even tried to get cozy with the volunteer coordinator who was obviously uncomfortable with him putting his hands on her waist, 5 or 6 hugs in a row, etc. If she is willing to put up with it, that’s her decision, but to expect the rest of us to accept it is totally out of line.
So… Holiday pleas and the need for donations will be coming out soon, and I’m going to leave it up to you on whether or not you want to donate to the Center or not… on one hand, it’s a great cause for people to get haircuts, clothing, food, etc. but not when it comes with a price, that women have to be careful with being sexually assaulted, men physically accosted, and everyone might get sick from his food due to him not bathing for a week at a time & not washing hands after toileting.
