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Hard Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – define successful
Easy Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – life accomplishment
Some people have a Bucket List of things they want to do/experience in their life. Other people think it’s silly… I get that. I’m not sure if it’s actually a bucket list or just dreams of wanting to do certain things, I don’t know… but when you’re part of the middle class or higher, things you want to do or experience is just part of your life, and can complete that list. I think us Gen Xers are the 1st generation since the Industrial Revolution to be financially worse off as an entire generation than our parents. It doesn’t seem to be looking much better…
I’m looking into various options of putting my life story down, and just may put it into DeviantArt, even though it’s more of a creative writing place. I’m not looking to get paid or get sympathy, but to the average person, it seems surreal that I’ve spent most of my adult life in poverty, despite trying anything & everything to improve things. A narcissistic abuser completely sabotaged my professional growth, and I’m not complaining, the life that happened for me gave me my son. Despite everything, I don’t have any debt, I have my own house (even if it’s not what I was thinking it was going to be), and making a go of things… So, what is success? Do we really need to be wealthy to be that? Many of them are corrupt somehow. I think we need to look at it differently. Successful can be defying the odds, or accomplishing something you set your mind on, or raising good people, too. Maybe it’s being someone’s sunshine in their storm. The artists, poets, musicians, actors, the creative people offer a lot of healing to the planet, even if it’s us working on ourselves, first.
Back at the 4th of July 1977 parade, I announced that some day, I was going to march in the parade with an instrument in a band, literally everyone – my cousins, aunts/uncles, even my own mother laughed… I didn’t even play anything at that point, and tended to be clumsy (I still am, I tripped on my dishwasher door a couple weeks ago & dislocated my shoulder), but I was determined. In 79, the school had an event for those who wanted to play a wind instrument, and my mother begrudgingly took me. I’d originally wanted to do trumpet, but when that instructor pointed me to a woodwind, she definitely was rank about how do I expect to learn an instrument if I can’t blow into it right… Well, that’s why I’m going to learn. We don’t get born & know how to walk & talk, it all takes time. She pointed me toward the flutes… I wasn’t interested. I wanted to play drums, she adamantly said NO! I’d seen the oboes but they seemed so delicate, then I saw the clarinet – sleek, sturdy, that’s it. I found my instrument. I was shy, timid, but I got in & was in the band. 2 years later, I wanted to join the marching band but because we were moving, I couldn’t, so I did the next year, when I told her that I’m going in, and would forge the permission slip if I had to. She signed it with the warning of she’s not going to help pay for everything. I wasn’t allowed an official job, but I didn’t mind babysitting, cutting grass or snow shoveling, plus I was one of the best candy bar sellers, so I was good. Not only did I stay in the marching band for 5 years, the last 3 were in the drumline. I also was part of a clarinet choir to go to state during high school. When I kept playing in college, I decided to start taking lessons because I couldn’t previously. Even though my sister was in swimming & soccer, she was able to get violin lessons, and weaseled her way into the marching band in the color guard, too. Here’s the thing… I still play. Semi-professionally. And my tenor sax, too, when I joined the jazz band in college. In the last few years, I’ve made some money with sewing, also – it started with hemming at a men’s specialty store, and I’ve done curtains, pants & blankets… It seems that maybe taking this alternate route might be my life accomplishment, even if the traditional paths didn’t work out…
So, I guess my thing is, don’t count yourself out, stop comparing to other people. While it would be great to take my son to see Mt. Fuji & to tour Sicily, that probably won’t happen this lifetime, but, here we are, a family, and making a go out of life. I won’t have millions, but, he’ll always have this house, too.
