Week 1.11 topic: Remember to remember

Subtopic 1: Mention a ribbon in your blog

Subtopic 2: Use the word “Memorial” in your blog

My Angel Baby

Sometimes it’s hard to remember, but we can all Remember to Remember. In life, it’s dealing with the hard things that make us grow, hopefully in the right direction. Often, it’s easier to ignore those, but, if we’re going to move through life, we need to be able to get through the mental & emotional ruts or we won’t get anywhere. Ribbons can help us remember different things, from awareness to special events, though I often wonder if I put too much into things that are trivial, then again, often it’s the little things in life that make the biggest impact.

I know Memorial Day is to honor those who served that have passed on. Yet I always feel like there ought to be a little bit more since, in the case of my grandfather, he was given the choice as a husband & new dad so he chose to support the war efforts by working 2 full-time jobs, one at the family business & the other in a factory to make necessary things to support the troops. My father-in-law, who was legally blind, wasn’t eligible to join the military, he too, worked in the factory to support the war efforts. To me, that should count for something?

In remembering various family members & relatives, including those who served IN the military, there are others I remember, like my angel baby, and my 1st born, Chuck. I had a sickly pregnancy and didn’t know or understand what was going on. My mother, an RN, came to a couple of appointments but normally would just sit there or parrot what I said. When I lost baby Chuck , a very wanted child, my sister made it all about her. It wasn’t easy for me to be going through that, especially when other people behaved as if they’re the ones who lost theirs in a bigger way, when this one was mine (I nearly bled to death myself, due to complications). A week later, my mother sat across from me and told me she KNEW that with my symptoms, that it was a great possibility that one or both of us could have died. When I asked why she didn’t say anything to my OB/GYN, she said she didn’t want to question the authority of the doctor. It still makes me wonder, 23 years later, if he could have been alive, had I had an appropriate advocate…

So, yes, for me, Memorial Day is more than remembering my relatives who served in the military.

To participate in the creative writing group, please visit the page to join, participate as you wish: https://www.facebook.com/columns/2610716402397207

Weekly Writer’s Group Week 10 topic: Lucky Me!

Subtopic 1: Incorporate a song (title or lyric) with the word “green” in it.

Subtopic 2: Mention something that brings you luck.

In a life of craziness, it’s good to try to find where your blessings are. I play in 2 performance groups with my clarinet, work part time, I have a husband & son who love me to pieces, and friends who adore me, too. Lucky Me! I love & appreciate all of you!

My grandfather, who used to brag about being 200% Hungarian (because his mother was 100%, his father was 100%, so he must be 200%) always used to say that seeing a red cardinal was good luck, if you see a pair, that’s even better. It’s a sign better days are coming.

Cardinal Couple

In Japan, the dragonfly brings good fortune, representing strength & happiness. They look forward to transformation & we all could use that for the better.

Dragonfly Spy

I wonder if cardinals & dragonflies ever go to a Green River (CCR)? Sometimes it’s fun to try to remember the things we loved as children. Even living in the outskirts of Tokyo, I’d always been somewhat of a nature girl, going out bug catching, frog chasing, jumping in puddles, etc. I used to love the wind in my face, though now, I prefer the sun.

For more about the weekly writing group for fun as an outlet, please visit the group HERE.

1.09 topic: No Dirty Dishes

Subtopic 1: Mention your favorite snack

Subtopic 2: Mention where you would see yourself in a year from now

In a perfect world, there would be No Dirty Dishes! But, when you love to cook, there are always tons… At least people eat well. Lots of good food, nutritious & delicious, catering to dietary needs while still capturing the various flavors so people can enjoy what they eat. I guess I’m fortunate that the guy who rents our spare bedroom doesn’t mind doing dishes every day, and it helps that we have a dishwasher to stack stuff into, and only have to wash the items that don’t belong there. I only use disposable items when I’m hosting a lot of people, because I’m trying to be more eco-friendly (plus I’m limited in my recycling space, so reusable items to wash are good, right?) I like having leftovers, to put into other containers due to the fact that they make nice lunches the next day.

Life gets crazy. The medications I take for my autoimmune disorder(s) supress my appetite, so I’m trying to get used to the fact that rather than eating 3 full meals, I’m having 1 regular meal & possibly 2 snacks or just one other small meal a day. I used to like to snack on ice cream, chips, or cookies, but these days I’m actually opting for celery with peanut butter. While I used to always have room for chocolate, now it’s strawberries. Maybe that’s a good thing, since both celery & strawberries have antioxidants, and the 2nd medication I’m on can put me at risk for cancer.

It’s difficult to determine where I’ll be in a year, since many autoimmune disorders are progressive. I’m lucky these days that I can do what I do. In order to stay positive, I’d like to be feeling better enough to be more active, and enjoying what life I can have. Instead of focusing on what I can’t do, go for the things that I can. Playing music & writing are two of those things, which is helpful. Because I’m a wind player, it helps keep my lung function up, and writing, even if creative, keeps my brain going.

Thanks for reading, and for having me in this writing group. For those who aren’t already here, but would like to take part on occasion, here is the group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/493795995474246/

Week 8! 1.08 topic (5pts): In Another Place

Subtopic 1 (3pts): Mention Lucky Number 13

Subtopic 2 (2pts): Include a limerick

A limerick consists of five lines arranged in one stanza. The first line, second line, and fifth lines end in rhyming words. The third and fourth lines must rhyme. The rhythm of a limerick is anapestic, which means two unstressed syllables are followed by a third stressed syllable.

Often, it would be nice to be In Another Place. It hasn’t been easy, since it feels like life doesn’t have a place for me, anywhere. So I’m fortunate to have my husband, son & dear friends (in-person & online). For you all, I’m grateful, for you are my lucky 13.

The once unwanted girl by both her parents 

She always thought she was an abhorrence 

Disguised blessings come forth 

Warmth glows from the hearth 

Reality comes always to give her clearance

Wishing all of you a Happy Mother’s Day – especially to those who are grieving their angel babies & those estranged from their moms. It’s not easy grieving without closure.

1.07 topic: The Meaning of Mom

 For points…

How do you (or don’t you) celebrate mother’s day?

Include your favorite flower.

To join the Facebook private writing group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/493795995474246/

The Meaning of Mom has been a difficult thing for me. I never had that relationship with my own mother, and when I became a mother myself, I had to rely solely on instincts because I’ve always felt that the way I was raised was not the right way. This picture of my son Chad & I was taken almost exactly 22 years ago when he was only 2 months old. I really think he inspired me to discover myself in different ways.

It used to be difficult to see posts that mention how you only have one mom who loves you, or how people talk about how their own mother is their best friend because nothing I’ve ever done was ever good enough for mine unless it was convenient for her. Everything wrong was always my fault and was expected to apologize even when I didn’t know what supposedly went wrong, and I wasn’t going to raise mine like that, so maybe it’s good I only had one? I don’t know.

Ever since I made the decision to stop talking to my own mother back in 2016, new traditions & celebrations were made. I kind of enjoy not having to stress out about if bringing the dessert or side to the dinner table will be enough, or if I’ll end up hearing the neverending story about how I didn’t get a card (even during the years that I didn’t have a dollar to my name, I thought this day was to spend quality time with your mom, not about supporting Hallmark). Now, I”m just glad to be rid of the toxic relationship to focus on what’s important, MY family – whether biological or “adopted”.

Regardless of who does or doesn’t show up at the dinner table, it’s always fun to spend the day in the kitchen with my son, we really connect there. Chad has been my kitchen mate since he was 2, so it’s almost 20 years of cooking together of some sort or another. This will always be a precious memory, and I look forward to other crazy food compositions we come up with together. Some are traditional, other ones are punted… People look at us weird when we talk about stuff, yet when the food comes together, our crazy concoctions work. Whether it’s traditional Japanese, Italian, or Mexican, other times fusion when we use any 2 together, or we’re coming up with something completely experimental, it’s always fun. This is how we celebrate.

I have a couple of favorite flowers, which are lilacs & cherry blossoms. They’re the parentheses around my favorite season, one kicking-off spring to enter into summer, and the other to close out to notify us that the fall colors are coming soon. They’re my favorite smells, too, along with tea rose (but I don’t know if that’s an actual flower or just the name of a perfume scent).