1.07 topic: The Meaning of Mom

 For points…

How do you (or don’t you) celebrate mother’s day?

Include your favorite flower.

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The Meaning of Mom has been a difficult thing for me. I never had that relationship with my own mother, and when I became a mother myself, I had to rely solely on instincts because I’ve always felt that the way I was raised was not the right way. This picture of my son Chad & I was taken almost exactly 22 years ago when he was only 2 months old. I really think he inspired me to discover myself in different ways.

It used to be difficult to see posts that mention how you only have one mom who loves you, or how people talk about how their own mother is their best friend because nothing I’ve ever done was ever good enough for mine unless it was convenient for her. Everything wrong was always my fault and was expected to apologize even when I didn’t know what supposedly went wrong, and I wasn’t going to raise mine like that, so maybe it’s good I only had one? I don’t know.

Ever since I made the decision to stop talking to my own mother back in 2016, new traditions & celebrations were made. I kind of enjoy not having to stress out about if bringing the dessert or side to the dinner table will be enough, or if I’ll end up hearing the neverending story about how I didn’t get a card (even during the years that I didn’t have a dollar to my name, I thought this day was to spend quality time with your mom, not about supporting Hallmark). Now, I”m just glad to be rid of the toxic relationship to focus on what’s important, MY family – whether biological or “adopted”.

Regardless of who does or doesn’t show up at the dinner table, it’s always fun to spend the day in the kitchen with my son, we really connect there. Chad has been my kitchen mate since he was 2, so it’s almost 20 years of cooking together of some sort or another. This will always be a precious memory, and I look forward to other crazy food compositions we come up with together. Some are traditional, other ones are punted… People look at us weird when we talk about stuff, yet when the food comes together, our crazy concoctions work. Whether it’s traditional Japanese, Italian, or Mexican, other times fusion when we use any 2 together, or we’re coming up with something completely experimental, it’s always fun. This is how we celebrate.

I have a couple of favorite flowers, which are lilacs & cherry blossoms. They’re the parentheses around my favorite season, one kicking-off spring to enter into summer, and the other to close out to notify us that the fall colors are coming soon. They’re my favorite smells, too, along with tea rose (but I don’t know if that’s an actual flower or just the name of a perfume scent).