Okay. I'm saying sorry in advance, to being ignorant... But I've heard about this "White Privilege" quite a few times, and I know it's supposed to be something along the line of, there are certain things that are taken for granted, such as getting good service or what ever it is you get, or not get, because of your skin color...
But, I must admit, I am not exactly sure what it is, and what do people get, or don't have to worry about, or what ever it is, and just wondering what happens, exactly? I just want to understand what it is, w/o being twisted or overblown. I just want to be more educated for future purposes, because, let’s face it, depending on the situation, I may fit the privilege, while on the other hand, I totally don’t. I’ll come back to this in a minute... First things first.
The reason I am asking, is, on another social network site, a lady was saying she finally got to break the silence of her rape & sexual assault while at work, and wanted to push the awareness of the situation as a black woman. I thought I was being supportive when I stated it was good she finally got to have a voice, and as survivors of sex abuse, we are in the same boat, and need to support each other. She was irked, saying that it's the same as the black lives matter, and then saying all lives matter, and how I don't get it, because we are not the same, and that it must be nice that I have white privilege... I was not upset or mad that she had stated that no, *I* don’t understand where she is coming from, and she did post a link to an article about how black women do not have the same access to get support from sex abuse, and even if invited and welcomed to the group, that they don’t get the same talk time, and all too often, take a back seat to others who are also there for the same support. I did not know this. So, I was ignorant to this situation, even as a strong advocate for those going through abuse, especially sex abuse, and how we should all be able to feel safe in our environments, and if the unfortunate situation presents, that we are supportive to ALL victims, not just the ones who are more able to get the sympathetic support.
Mind you, because of where I am in MY life situation, I am at a place where I can be supportive of others... I also support the Black Lives Matter campaign because so many issues, that are more covert than overt when expressing the discrimination, and of course, the pay is lower for many, as well as access to opportunity, lack of access to quality foods, health care, and the fact that more black people are arrested and sentenced longer for smaller crimes than other groups of people... I understand that this is a HUGE issue. Then, after looking at this particular woman’s links, I see one that points to a study that black girls experience sex abuse/rape at about twice the average of other races, and understanding from the previous post about the inequity of access to the support, I was very upset...
Why does this upset me? Because I consider myself to be a good advocate. I do my homework. I see the stats from groups like RAINN. I present facts from FBI studies. I use federal websites to back up my statements, and have always wanted to help ALL victims, not just some, or most. While I don’t consider this a slam on me as a person, it is a HUGE slam on me as an advocate, because of the fact that ignorance was wearing my face, and made it true that I truly did NOT understand. On the other hand, now that I know these issues exist, I am going to be able to do more research, and add that to my bank of knowledge. I will become a better advocate armed with this. So, I was not mad that this lady put me in check. I needed to know this, and it’s not because I am a better person now for knowing, but, this lady obviously knew that I had no idea, and yes, that can be irritating.
So, the part about where I do or don’t fit the privilege... Okay, so I am half Japanese, and thus part of the Asian American people who are the “model minorities”. Why do Americans of Asian descent get the status of model minorities? It seems as if the whole planet (well, the planet that is represented here, in the USA) seems to know that it’s the Asians who are smart, because they’ve come from countries where their language is NOTHING like English, and yet learn to master the language, works hard, studies hard, and goes on to be Doctors, Pharmacists, Medical Device engineers, Medicine makers/inventors, Electrical Engineers, owners of successful companies, and more... And even on a social level, Asian Americans are considered polite, never causing trouble, or dropping out of school to “join a gang”. So, because of this, may end up being able to get a job in their desired fields, attend colleges that are more prestigious, etc. Yes, I get that too. There ARE certain things that can be like this, where I should take it as a compliment if I am asked how smart am I in math and science? I am not. Sorry.
On the other hand... Okay, so during/after WWII, where Japanese-Americans were put into American concentration camps because this group of Japanese people might rise up against the USA, and justifies that we had to do it for safety purposes. Um, what? Some of these people in that time, were 5th generation Americans, and didn’t even speak the language, and would rise up against America for a country they do not belong to, because of the skin color? And, I’m not supposed to be annoyed or anything at all, because I’m supposed to just accept that it was a must? Um. No. Why would you put an American into a concentration camp because they might rise up? And because as Americans, people have a difficult time knowing if this person is Japanese or Korean or Taiwanese... I am sure many a Chinese Americans were pegged for being Japanese, and got ostracized and pushed around. It doesn’t stop there. I get asked what kind of math did I major in, or can you help me with my science class... The stereotype that Asians are good at these subjects... I am not. Then, with my dark hair, if I sit with my Hispanic/Latino friends, people think I’m Latina. If I am with Native Americans, people think I am American Indian. Same goes for if I am with Italian, Greek, Turkish, Arabic, etc... I will claim all of them, because, diversity is what creates culture, and I am no better than another.
White privilege does not mean you need to feel guilty for being white and privileged. If you have white privilege, try to open more doors and windows for other people to be able to reach their dreams. I also end up not knowing what part is the privilege, though, because seriously, when I say that I am in poverty, people act as if that cannot happen because I am Asian, and look white in many ways. But, I know that there have been times that I have been blessed, but on the other, I have yet to land my full time job and have a successful life yet. I am still waiting. I hope I do not die still waiting... Yes, I get help from relatives and friends. Yes, I appreciate what people do for me. But no, it is not fun being poor, and having people judge me is not something I enjoy. Yet, I get people telling me how luck I am to be here, where I have a government that gives food stamps and medicaid... Yes, I am thankful, and that I am able to have it... But, here, as a college educated woman, and it’s a BA from 1995 and a technical diploma from 2014. I am not a spring chicken. But, because I am poor, yes, there have been times when my relatives made comments about how I don’t manage my finances right because otherwise I wouldn’t be in this mess... I’ve been told that because both my husband and I grew up middle class that we are better than this... Or that I don’t run my house well because I’m chasing work instead of cuddling my son (who was a baby at the time, I think maybe about 2ish?). Unfortunately, when you’re poor, and everyone knows your business because it has to be talked about the rest of the year, so when we talk to our relatives at the holiday, you’re getting asked these questions... We are poor, not stupid, okay? And, as the family dummy (because, you know. If we were smart, we wouldn’t be poor, right)?
This happens, even at family events, when I used to be with other relatives where multiple babies were together, and say if in playing, I all of a sudden see falling toddlers... because I wanted to watch what was going on, and I’d have 2 or 3 people pretty much telling me, actually more like insisting in a lecturing tone, “Leave it alone! Let ‘em roll! Sit back down, you’re making him too dependent on you!!! Sit down, sit down, let ‘em roll, mind your own business! He’s going to be okay! Leave it, leave it!!!!” Serious, not exaggerating. I’m asking them why it was so wrong for even looking, and had them tell me that I was going to go over there and interfere when I should be worried about other things. What? Okay, first, there is a long table I am sitting at blocking me from that side of the room. Then because there were people sitting all around the table, it’s not as if I was going to get over there, what? I’m only 2” wide, right? Okay, does it occur to anyone, that maybe, just because it’s the American thing to do, to push independence to toddlers, because they’re so efficient little people, that maybe, just maybe, MY perception of raising a child is that the kids should be able to have exploration and play to learn, and if a tumble occurs, that I just might need to take care of the hurt child? And no, these weren’t necessarily people who saw me regularly. One even told me that MY kid couldn’t have had a diaper rash that had missing skin so fast because none of hers did, and how she should know because not only did she have 4, but has grandkids, too... As if every kid fits into one of her 4 categories? What ever...
I know I digress... But, it’s hard for me to fully understand this White Privilege... On one hand, I have some, yes. In other ways, people just don’t get it, because they’ve never heard of a poor Japanese person, much less fathom that as an Asian lady, why, even if I wasn’t smart enough in math/science that I must be able to attract wealthy men to support me, right, so it doesn’t matter if I can find a good job so I can be glad to spend my money as I see fit, because I am all of a sudden a person who is driven and smart? Ugh.
Dialogue appreciated from the peanut gallery and beyond. Just because I wonder how far this privilege goes. Does it affect disabled people, who happen to be white? Does it affect those whose orientation is different, and do white gay couples get less discriminated than black gay couples? or how about interracial gay couples? Or how about those who are American and because of being Latino that got you stereotyped for a pull over? Or others who may be multiracial in make up? How far or not far does this go, and if a black person is wealthy, do they get honorary white status? What about the other way, where a Cracka is actually a black white person for being poor? Different stances welcome, please all be respectful. Also, feel free to bring people who may add INsight if you wish.
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