Change, Issues, & Definitions

Most people who know me knows that I am a child advocate, who presses for the social change necessary to put a damper on those who abuse our children. The types of abuse are physical abuse such as domestic violence; gross neglect such as not feeding your children; and sex abuse, which is one of the more damaging types. It’s not to say that other aspects are not present, such as psychological abuse and bullying, but, if you figure, bullying is also included in domestic violence as well as at schools, and psychological abuse is always present in any of these categories. Grooming children and their families to make good victims are a form of psychological abuse. Victim blaming is also a form of bullying and psychological abuse. It’s crazy, that I’ve been called a bully for calling out sex offender behavior in others.

A new example of physical abuse comes in form of a dad who drags his daughter by her hair through the whole store. It doesn’t say what she had done, so I won’t speculate, but, to make a public mockery of her by dragging her by the hair through the entire store, isle by isle is not the way to raise your children. 

Here is the article:

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/ple...

We have heard about the two Coreys who did so many movies together, and how during their reality TV show, it came out that both of them had been sexually abused on set and more, by the directors and other Hollywood A-Listers. It is surprising who are all here as a part of the bigger picture, and how even the directors joked about how everyone has had both boys as youngsters. Other child actors were victims of this violence also, and we know that both Corey Haim and River Phoenix both died due to drug use, probably as a way to cope with the sex abuse they had to endure. Both may be alive today, if they had the right kind of support, and people need to learn that children are NOT sex toys.

Here is an article that talks more about this issue:

http://artbyarion.blogspot.com/2014...

While in the courts, the term “pedophilia” as a general term for full grown adults who engage in sexual contact with those younger than the age of consent, here is a better explanation of what the different categories are. Thing is, because of the nature, I don’t like the term “sexual contact”, because it signifies consent. That would fall under statutory, meaning one is above and the other is below the age of consent, and implies that the two are peers of some sort, like high school sweethearts. I really wish they would stop prosecuting the “Romeo & Juliette” couples, because they don’t belong in this category at all. 

 But, here are the definitions as I got them from Wiki:

1) Ephebophilia is the primary or exclusive adult sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19.[1][2] The term was originally used in the late 19th to mid 20th century.[2] It is one of a number of sexual preferences across age groups subsumed under the technical term chronophilia. Ephebophilia strictly denotes the preference for mid-to-late adolescent sexual partners, not the mere presence of some level of sexual attraction.

2) Hebephilia is the strong and persistent adult sexual interest in pubescent (early adolescent) individuals, typically ages 11–14

3) Pedophilia is a psychological issue, in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.[1][2] Although girls typically begin the process of puberty at age 10 or 11, and boys at age 11 or 12,[3] criteria for pedophilia extend the cut-off point for prepubescence to age 13.[1] A person who is diagnosed with pedophilia must be at least 16 years old, but adolescents must be at least five years older than the prepubescent child for the attraction to be diagnosed as pedophilia.[1][2]

As you can see, if the object of desire is 18 or 19, it would be considered legal, because they are adults. But, you have to admit, it is creepy to have adults that are in their mid 30s or older be checking out someone who may be 18 and still finishing high school... This shows the sickness of some, that while it may be legal, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s ethical, as shown in the definition of #1. I also beg to differ that pedophilia is not only the only one listed as a psychological issue, but that it implies that it is a disorder. I’m not saying it’s not a sick thing, because it is sick. But, as a psychological disorder, it implies that those who are pedophiles are “afflicted”, and they deserve no mercy for preying on children, and the fact that they groom their victims and their families, shows intent, which ought to be criminal, not psychological.

While we all agree that children, especially babies, who end up disabled or dying due to sex abuse is horrific, we seem to minimize the teenager who ends up the same way. To me, they are equally horrific. Our small children and babies feel the physical pain, and the sex abuse is painful the same way getting beaten is. Our teens and tweens understand the dirt, the dehumanization that is associated with sex abuse.

Speaking of terms, any form of pedophilia, hebephilia and ephebophilia should be called rape, or sex assault, because it is assault, and traumatizing, where as saying sexual contact sounds like fluff. Kissing someone who doesn’t want it, or fondling someone would be considered contact. Once it passes that, the more it is assault and rape it is.

All too often, our perpetrators are not getting the punishment they need. Abusers are often narcissistic and manipulative, and are good at playing the victim. They will do what ever they can, to make their target less of a person than themselves. The manipulation is to exert some control of the victims, and when the victim exerts enough strength to speak up, the perpetrators will almost always go running to every family member, friend, friendly acquaintances, community group, etc. and blab about the outrageous things you accused them of (even if they totally exaggerate what you asserted), to ensure that they control how others think or feel of you, and that is another manipulation tactic to make you look like the crazy idiot. Classic sex offender behavior. Especially if one of the people told ended up coming to you to tell you off, to further push the idea that you are the crazy one. Don’t doubt yourself. They are the ones who are twisted. The more they abuse, the more manipulation they use. Sex offenders are more narcissistic than those who are physically abusive, but, both are under the same pretense that they are better than you, so they are entitled to use you for their own purposes, whether it’s beating you or sexually abusing you. They are at the height of narcissistic manipulation, and has fooled a lot of people.

I am hoping that in the next year, that we will get momentum in Youth Voice Initiative, a registered 501c4 of it’s kind to the best of my knowledge, and we can make headway in pushing for the future of our abused children. Regardless of if I make enough money or not would be secondary, if we can become leaders in the cause of protecting our children. That would truly make me happy.